READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
