I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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