My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
