I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize