He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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