I am in a vortex of obligation.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My pussy is not your playground.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just blew my weed a kiss
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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