My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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