I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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