Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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