I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
