I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
