So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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