My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize