So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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