we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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