Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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