were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
