Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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