He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
