i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just blew my weed a kiss
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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