My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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