i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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