I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
