Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i drank out of a bidet.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
