I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dignity is for republicans.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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