I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
