Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As shirtless as possible
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
