shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
