I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize