I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
