Someone shit on the floor
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
