just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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