is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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