I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
