He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
