im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
