The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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