Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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