he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
