I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
