I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is the high leading the old right now
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
