just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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