i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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