Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
