that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
