If i could tip my vagina, i would.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
