That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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