My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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