I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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