ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
