I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
