you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize