i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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