Everything about him screamed your future.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
