Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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