i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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