cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
