I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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