god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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