Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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