my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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