Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
